Discussion Ground Rules
Spirituality touches on some of the most tender aspects of a person’s heart. It’s important, therefore, for any group discussion of the material in this book to be guided by some shared understandings in advance. Toward that end, the following ground rules for group discussion could be discussed and agreed upon by the group (and briefly reviewed before each session); even if it seems to be a little awkward to bring it up at first, this kind of shared understanding, made explicit, will often be appreciated by the participants.
1. What’s shared in the group stays in the group.
Participants need to know that the thoughts, feelings, and perspectives shared in the group setting won’t be shared by others outside of the group, except with specific permission. This applies to everything shared in the group, not simply intimate personal details that might be shared.
2. No one is expected to share on any given topic; it’s fine to pass.
While discussion takes a willingness on the part of group participants to speak, no one in the group should feel compelled to speak on any given issue. This freedom allows participants to relax, which leads to better discussions.
3. No unsolicited advice-giving is allowed.
Good discussions require great listening. It’s often a temptation to jump in with advice when participants share personal struggles. But unsolicited advice giving—even when the advice is good—will often inhibit open sharing. It’s the responsibility of group members to ask for advice if they want it. Each time.
4. Take your fair share of the time.
Those who speak up easily and share freely should be encouraged to leave space for those more hesitant to speak, by not hogging the airspace. Think of the group time as a pie; if there are eight members of the group, each slice of the time pie is roughly one-eighth of the time allotted.
5. Be respectful of the viewpoints of others.
It is understood from the outside that each participant has unique experiences and perspectives. The point of the discussion is to share these perspectives freely, respecting different points of view, rather than attempting to arrive at a predetermined consensus or enforce a particular point of view.
Click here to download the Ground Rules PDF.